The Twin Flame journey is unlike any other connection you will ever experience. It is not a “normal” relationship based on conditions, expectations, or even traditional expressions of love. Instead, it is a union of one soul in two bodies—a deep energetic connection designed to strip away illusions and bring you back to your truest self.
And yet, because of this intensity, one of the most common questions that arises—especially for those embodying more of the Divine Feminine energy—is:
“What should I give the Divine Masculine to love me?”
At first glance, the mind quickly produces answers: support him, fix his problems, offer a safe place, give gifts, give my body, give all of me.
I asked myself these questions for years. I believed that if I gave enough—more than I had ever given anyone else—she would see me, choose me, and love me back the way I longed for. But what I learned, often painfully, is that none of those things are what your Divine Masculine truly wants from you.
What he truly desires and what your shared soul is asking of you—is something much more profound: your presence.
Compassion vs. Empathy vs. Push
On this journey, it is natural to feel deep compassion when you see your person struggling. Maybe he is in financial difficulty, weighed down by family burdens, or exhausted from work pressures. As the Feminine, you feel everything so intensely, and your instinct may be to “fix it” for him.
I know this feeling well. There were times when my Twin Flame was going through challenges in her new school where she’s just started, and I wanted to step in with solutions, to carry her burdens, to make her world lighter. My heart wanted to rescue her. But each time I tried, it created the opposite effect. Instead of drawing her closer, she stepped back.
This is where the subtle but vital line between compassion, empathy, and push becomes clear.
- Compassion means you witness his pain with an open heart and hold space without judgment.
- Empathy—while beautiful in ordinary relationships—can turn into push in the Twin Flame dynamic. When you slip into his shoes and try to feel his struggle as your own, the mind quickly begins strategizing: How do I fix this? How do I make it better?
- And the moment you move into fixing, rescuing, or over-giving, you’re in push.
Push happens when you start doing for him things you wouldn’t normally do for anyone else. Offering your savings, your time or your entire energy just because he is your Twin Flame creates imbalance.
And here is the truth: your Twin Flame doesn’t need saving. Your soul already has him.
Why the Divine Masculine pulls away
It can feel heartbreaking when you offer everything—your love, your body, your resources, your unconditional help—and instead of leaning in, he pulls away.
I lived through this heartbreak. I remember giving far more than I had, even compromising my own needs and values, because I believed that’s what love demanded. I thought: If I just love her more, if I show her how safe I am, if I give her everything, she will finally stay.
But instead, she withdrew. And I was left with the painful question: Why isn’t my love enough?
What I came to understand is that she wasn’t rejecting me. She was rejecting the energy that came with my over-giving—the vibration of neediness, control, and mistrust. When I rushed to protect or fix her, the hidden message was: I don’t trust your soul to take care of you, so I must step in.
And nothing repels the Divine Masculine more than this lack of trust in the soul.
What he actually wants is profoundly simple: “I don’t need you to do anything. I just need you to be here.”
My personal Twin Flame example
My Twin Flame is a German teacher. At one point, my son decided to take private lessons with her, even though she already had her own heavy school responsibilities. She did it purely out of her own wish, because she wanted to stay close to our family.
When this happened, I wanted to show my gratitude in a very special way. I chose to gift my Twin Flame with an expensive painting. I spent weeks searching for the right one, arranging the creation, the delivery, making sure everything was perfect. I put in effort, time, and energy in a way I had never done for myself. Looking back, I realized I had always been willing to go the extra mile for others—especially for her—but rarely for me.
Later, during our separation phase, I kept asking myself: Would I ever have done all of that for myself? The honest answer was no.
But something changed with time. I began making decisions for myself. I bought paintings for my own home. I invested in my personal growth, my healing, my expansion. I learned to gift myself with beauty, support, and love.
And that was the breakthrough. I realized that what I was really seeking through her was something I had to give to myself. Because what she needed, I also needed. And in the Twin Flame connection, the deepest truth is this: it is not about giving endlessly to each other, nor waiting for the other to provide. It is about each of us learning to give to ourselves first. When we do, the other naturally receives from our overflow—and the bond grows freer and lighter. When we know what kind of live we want to live, we are the ones who are supposed to create this.
Presence, NOT Presents
One of the greatest illusions of the mind is that we must do something to be loved: buy gifts, offer our body, give endless support, sacrifice our needs, pour ourselves out completely.
But your Twin Flame doesn’t need your presents—he needs your presence.
Being present means:
- Listening without judgment.
- Not rushing to solve his problems.
- Trusting that his soul—your one shared soul—already has him.
- Holding space with neutrality, not preference or expectation.
When you embody this, you stop trying to earn his love and remember that love already exists. It is eternal and unconditional.
The trap of people-pleasing
One of the most subtle but powerful blocks on this journey is people-pleasing.
I know this trap well. I have been the giver, the rescuer, the one who always says yes. With my Twin Flame, I gave in ways I never would have with anyone else—crossing my own boundaries, believing it would prove my love and finally make her stay.
But people-pleasing only creates more separation. Each time I gave more than I naturally would, she felt the imbalance and stepped further back.
Ask yourself:
- Would you give all your spare time every day to your colleagues if they asked? Probably not. Yet you might feel compelled to do it for your Twin Flame. That’s push.
- Would you let a distant friend move into your home indefinitely? Likely not. Yet many offer this to their Twin Flame. That’s push.
- Would you settle for “friends with benefits” when what you want is a real, committed union? Probably not. Yet many Divine Feminines accept this dynamic with their Twin Flame. That’s push.
Your person feels the imbalance. And instead of drawing him closer, it creates resistance.
The real gift: Giving to yourself
So what should you give the Divine Masculine to love you?
The paradoxical but powerful answer is: give everything you want to give him back to yourself.
- If you want to hug him, hug yourself.
- If you want to pour love into him, pour it into your own heart.
- If you want to support him, support yourself on your soul path.
Because he is you. The Twin Flame journey operates on an energetic mirror. Whatever you deny yourself while trying to give to him will push him away. But whatever you give to yourself—love, care, attention—flows through your shared soul and uplifts him too.
I learned this slowly, through many tears and awakenings. The more I turned my love inward, the more balanced our connection became. Instead of chasing, I began to embody. Instead of pouring outward, I filled my own cup. And this shift changed everything.
How to hold balanced energy with your Twin Flame
Here are some guiding principles that helped me find balance:
- Be Neutral. Release expectations or timelines. Trust the process.
- Listen More, Speak Less. Sometimes all he needs is space to be heard.
- Treat Him Equally. Don’t give more than you would naturally give anyone else.
- Trust the Soul. Repeat to yourself daily: His soul has got him. Our soul has got us.
- Redirect the Love. Every ounce of nurturing energy you want to pour into him, give to yourself first.
Why this journey is so hard (and so worth it)
It feels almost unnatural not to rush in and rescue your Twin Flame when he is hurting. Your heart aches to see him struggle. But the very thing that feels like “love” in the human sense often creates push in the energetic sense.
The soul doesn’t need you to prove love—it only needs you to be love.
And this is why the Twin Flame path is so challenging. It asks you to reverse everything you’ve been taught about relationships. It asks you to surrender control, stop fixing, and rest in trust.
But it is also why this journey is so profoundly worth it. Because when you give presence instead of presents, when you embody love instead of chasing it, when you hold your own energy instead of pouring it all away—you don’t just move toward union with your person. You move into union with your soul.
What should I give the Divine Masculine to love me?
So, dear Divine Feminine, the answer is clear:
- Do not give him your savings, your energy, your everything.
- Do not try to buy his love or fix his problems.
Instead:
- Give him your presence.
- Give him your alignment.
- Give him your trust that his soul knows the way.
- And most importantly, give all of that first to yourself.
Because the Divine Masculine does not fall in love with what you do for him. He is drawn to you because you embody the essence of the Divine Feminine—pure being, pure love, pure presence. And that, beloved, is more than enough.
I created the 3 months transformational coaching program with Autogenic training sessions to support you to find your way back to yourself. You can book a 15 min. discovery call to see the details and decide whether this would be something for you.
